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Be sure to watch Dr. Kanner discuss this topic live this Monday, January 28th, 2008 @ 8:15am on Fox6 News In The Morning.
Most parents find it amusing when their 3 to 5 year olds transition
into magical and creative play which often includes dressing up in a
variety of costumes. Such attire manifests in everything from
super-heroes and princesses, to a variety of adult figures, including
little mother and fathers engaging in themes which range from rescue,
romanticism, compassion, to destruction. What most do not understand
however, is that such play is a window into a child’s mind and
indicates where they are developmentally.
Before the age of three, children are typically still working out the
kinks of toddlerhood which is the stage of development that comes
before what is referred to as early childhood. Toddlers are struggling
to find a balance between the expected needs of dependence on mom and
dad versus wishes to be bigger and independent. The play of the
toddler is more about control and power versus fear and infrequently
has to do with the themes of relationships and gender, which is what
changes radically for most three to five year olds.
As with any age, play is symbolic of psychological growth and is the
child’s way of practicing new ways of understanding their minds,
relationships, and the world around them. The dress-up play of the
three to five year old in particular, represents three new
developmental themes: gender role identification; the growing and
changing of interpersonal relationships; and conscience development.
Such changes are made possible when the toddler years were successful
and the child has now become more comfortable with him or herself and
does not feel so “little” anymore. The “big boy” or “big girl” bed is
often a metaphor for bigger and more expansive ways of understanding
themselves and others. Dress-up play then becomes their mechanism for
practicing these newfound attributes.
From a gender identification point of view, boys and girls become more
comfortable and aware of their bodies and recognize the differences
between the sexes by understanding by the age of three, that their
bodies are different from the other sex. This then pushes boys and
girls to look to others of the same sex for information and
consolidation of their gender role. For example, many 3 to 4 year old
boys become increasingly interested in their father’s activities and
frequently wish to engage with them. The translation in dress-up is
often displayed by little boys dressing up as fathers, workmen,
superheroes, and firemen and their behavior is then practiced to help
them enjoy their new wishes and identification. For girls, the
princess, mother, school teacher, dancer, and business person represent
the same for their gender. Of course, much has to do with the gender
orientations and beliefs of the parents, for the child will internalize
and mimic most often what their parent or parents emulate. Therefore,
gender identification is complex. For example, the parents "beliefs"
in what boys and girls "should" play with is very important and becomes
communicated to the child.
Dress-up play also helps children practice their new development in
relationships with others. Perhaps the most drastic change from
toddlerhood to early childhood for most children is how they attempt to
relate to more than one other person simultaneously. Before this time,
relating was more one to one. In real life, this is represented by the
child having a different relationship and interactions with each
parent. In dress-up play, “playing house” often encapsulates this
theme whereby the children often have multiple roles such as husband,
wife, and mother and father. The acts and roles that each child play
are ways that they become more comfortable with growth and change.
Finally, dress-up play also serves to help children learn rules and
morals helping to shape their consciences. Most dress-up play themes,
despite being magical in content, often have rules that the players
abide by demonstrating how during this time of development, the child’s
conscious is in a period of formation. Over time, such rule regiments
become more intricate and often then serve to change the magical themes
of the play to more realistic ones. Subsequently, dress-up play tends
to fade away once the child’s magical mind shifts into middle childhood
where the child’s thinking is more reality and rule-based which was
helped along by the importance of the earlier investment in trying on
different outfits and personas.
Key Points:
1. Dress-up play is a normal and healthy tool of development.
2. Dress-up play helps to consolidate 3 developmental functions:
a. gender identification and integration
b. interpersonal or social development
c. conscience development
3. Parental attitude will have a strong effect on how the child understands and internalizes these functions.
Dr. Keith Kanner
Host
Your Family Matters Show
Fox6 News – San Diego
San Diego Living Show
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