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Watch this segment live this Monday, 11-13 on FITM between 8:15 and 8:30a.m.
Background: 3 year-old Brian was playing with his older sister’s playhouse on the weekend prior to beginning his first pre-school. His play consisted of having a girl toy figure get out of her bed, walk down the stairs, eat breakfast, and join the mother figure as they walked out of the house into a toy Barbie jeep and drove off to another location, which happened to be a desk chair designated as a supermarket. As they departed the car, he sent each figure to different locations of the market and assigned each of them different tasks. Each minute or so however, he had the little girl visit her mother as they passed each other in the market. As they would pass, the girl figure would say “hi mommy” and then continue to complete her tasks. After a few minutes, Brian loaded both figures back into the jeep and returns them home. He seemed happy that they had complete a shopping journey and were once again reunited. Given the timing of Brian beginning preschool the following Monday, this play example indicates his attempt to become comfortable with having to separate with his mother. This form of practicing is a very adaptive way that children prepare themselves for new adventures. In Brian’s case, he was testing out his independence while checking to be certain that his mother was close by just in case there was a problem. The joy at the end of the story indicates Brian’s esteem for being able to “shop” on his own and then return to the safety of his home. His changing of his gender to a girl was an attempt to further manage his anxiety about separating from his mother.
“Play” serves to enhance development allowing for internal thoughts, feelings, and concerns to become manifest in a safe and creative element. For most children, play is a central way that they convey how they feel and think rather than the use of words. The process of playing therefore, helps to decrease anxiety and bolster confidence by allowing the child to practice new concepts and prepare for new experiences. In addition, play also helps to test out hypotheses, learn new rules, and conquer inhibition. Depending upon the age of the child, play will represent different developmental milestones. For example, in the Brian example, he was testing out the concepts of object permanence and object constancy, both age appropriate. Here, up to the age of five, most children have difficulty with the concept of irreversibility and struggle to believe that what was lost can be found. This developmental reality underlies the common separation anxiety that most parents experience when they first drop off their children to preschool and even through kindergarten. When children master this cognitive acquisition, the anxiety subsides and they are no longer afraid to be apart from parents for short periods of time.
In middle to late childhood (ages 6 to 11), play changes from more of a fantasy level to one involving more cooperation and the following of rules. This transition runs in conjunction to changes in cognitive processing and moral reasoning. Common to this period are board and sport games where the children become obsessed with rules and what is considered right versus wrong. As children of this age play together, rule usage becomes more integrated and they learn to better cooperate and manage feelings of losing. Adolescent play involves sports, creative activities, and intensified socialization, such as small group activities, dances, and other types of outings.
Play also should continue throughout adulthood. Adult play serves as a stress release, a means of social interaction, and a method of sharing and communicating with peers. In fact, adults who have a healthy “Play Life” tend to be happier and live longer.
In each developmental level, it is important that the “toys” for the play be age appropriate and plentiful so the individual can utilize their creativity to their full extent.
Key Points:
1. Play assists in the development of the mind
2. Play is a window into the world of the child's mind
3. Play assists in emotional development and self-regulation
4. Children who play have less problems with aggression
5. Play characteristics change over time
6. Play materials must be age appropriate and plentiful to avoid boredom
7. Play should continue throughout adulthood
Dr. Keith Kanner
Show Host
Your Family Matters
Fox6 News – San Diego
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About drkanner
Dr. Kanner is a Licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychologist and Psychoanalyst with a full time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California. He is also an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego and a Clinical Instructor and Supervisor at the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. Recently, he has become the Director of Clinical Counseling for La Jolla Country Day School and has been named to the National Board of Directors for KidsKorps, USA. He continues as a Consultant for many public and private schools in San Diego and has also received distinguished teaching awards over the past seven years. He is a published author and a sought after speaker on topics pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is also presently writing a book for Fox based on his show, Your Family Matters.
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