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Be sure to watch this segment live this Monday, December 15th at 8:20 am on San Diego 6 News In The Morning.
Background: With the
holidays just around the corner, children and adults alike are
struggling to find that "right" gift for a loved one and become
concerned with issues such as quantity, quality, degree of personal
appreciation, and amount of money available for gift buying in an
economy that is tight for many. The giving of a gift for most however,
is ,intended to be an expression of love, affection, and appreciation
of others, while the receiver is commonly touched by the thought and
investment of the other's time and thought about the choice of the
token.
The "right" or most meaningful gift however is typically based upon
on how well the giver knows the needs, interests, and personality of
the recipient. When this type of information is obtained, issues
of quantity are replaced with the more important aspect of quality, and
the outcome is a benefit for all. The recipient feels as though the
giver took the time to find out what he or she was really in need of or
interested in, while the giver then feels gratified that their choice
was well accepted and appreciated. So, how does one go about obtaining
this type of information? If one plans ahead, asking the recipient
what they are interested in before the holiday season allows one to
gain important and direct information. However, most people do not
plan far in advance and then asking such questions too close to the
season eliminates the surprise. In most cases, most people then rely
on other people who know the interests of the person and t! his then
helps narrow down possible gifts.
Once this type of information is obtained, the concern of finance
then becomes an important consideration and the giving person must be
realistic in what they are able to afford given other gift commitments
for their entire lists. Here, perhaps having a number of possible
"meaningful" gifts for the recipient is important for some will be more
expensive than others and one may fit more into the budget than another.
For children giving gifts, they will typically need the assistance of their parents to both choose and purchase gifts for others.
For many parents however, they often enjoy their child making them a
gift, rather than buying one, and this is often more meaningful than
any sort of purchased item. Here, again, the quality of the gift
outweighs the amount of money spent of number of presents.
It is very important that parents teach their children early about
the goals of gift giving - that gifts are tokens of love, appreciation,
and an investment in trying to bring some joy to another person.
Here is where the uniqueness of a gift becomes important as it relates
to a person's needs and desires and that they have more to do with the
meaning of the gift rather than the price or amount of presents given
or received.
After all, when all is said and done, most individuals, adults and
children alike, seem to be most invested in gifts which fit their needs
and interests, rather than numbers of gifts which end up being stored
in a closet and never enjoyed.
Key Points:
1. The
"right" or most meaningful gift however is typically based upon on how
well the giver knows the needs, interests, and personality of the
recipient. Quality is much more important than quantity.
2. the
concern of finance then becomes an important consideration and the
giving person must be realistic in what they are able to afford given
other gift commitments for their entire lists.
3. For children giving gifts, they will typically need the assistance of their parents to both choose and purchase gifts for others.
4. It is very
important that parents teach their children early about the goals of
gift giving - that gifts are tokens of love, appreciation, and an
investment in trying to bring some joy to another person.
It is not the price of the gift, amount of gifts, but the thought and meaning behind the gift that is the most important.
Dr. Keith Kanner
Host
Your Family Matters Show
San Diego 6 News - San Diego
San Diego Living Show
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About drkanner
Dr. Kanner is a Licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychologist and Psychoanalyst with a full time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California. He is also an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego and a Clinical Instructor and Supervisor at the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. Recently, he has become the Director of Clinical Counseling for La Jolla Country Day School and has been named to the National Board of Directors for KidsKorps, USA. He continues as a Consultant for many public and private schools in San Diego and has also received distinguished teaching awards over the past seven years. He is a published author and a sought after speaker on topics pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is also presently writing a book for Fox based on his show, Your Family Matters.
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