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Watch Dr. Kanner discuss this valuable topic this Monday, February 2nd @ 8:20am on San Diego 6 News In The Morning.
Background:
It's not just adults who have been affected by the economic recession
we are experiencing! Our children too have had to withstand all sorts
of changes due to our current economic position. Whether the Christmas
gifts last year were not as plentiful as usual, to the forgoing of
family vacations, to even less food available for eating. I have not
met a single person in the past six months who is not suffering
substantially from the economy. Unlike 911, where a particular trauma
"shocked our system" causing some, but not all people, to struggle,
this time, everyone is feeling it and anxious on some level.
Economists,Political Scientists, financialists, and futurists has all
assured us that "in time", the market and economy will "bounce back".
The question of course is "when" and most state years, not months. So,
most adults are trying to figure out what to do and cannot afford to
"wait it out". From a societal point of view, we have not experienced
such an economic condition since the 1930's when most of us were not
alive and only some have living parents who remember what it was like.
My father, who is fortunately still alive and even working at 87, has
told me that what is happening to our country now reminds him of the
1930s but may even be worse given our present unemployment rate and the
fact that as a country, we do not manufacture enough placing too much
dependence on foreign import. In other words, everyone needs to start
working and perhaps we need to rely on extended family members to help
with childcare, so both men and women can get to work to improve the
economy. I suggested to Joe Bauer on our San Diego Living Show that I
thought that President Obama's intention behind having his
mother-in-law live with them in the White House on some level, may have
been to set an example for the American family could afford to save
money on childcare and allow both men and women, mothers and fathers,
to both work.
How these changes affect our children are enormous. From a stress point
of view, children, like their parents, are feeling the changes in the
economy, whether it is experienced at home, or even at school where
budgets have also been cut due to insufficient funding. Whether
parents talk to their children about the economy directly, or they are
experiencing the changes indirectly, our youth are scard, just like
their parents.
Another feeling these days from economic regression is anger.
The recent tragic stories of murder/suicides related to economic
hardship supports this feeling along with fear, but very few people
resort to such tragity in such horrif and tragic ways. Instead, they
become sad and in it's extreme, depressed.
I am sure that we are going to find that there is an increase in the
diagnosis of depression corelated with our present economic situation.
Perhaps we should check the pharmacudical stocks of the
Anti-Depressants and see if their stock is up. Seriously though, it is
normal for any normally-functioning person to be feeling the
combination of emotions noted above given the realities of today.
Obviously, some will feel these emotions stronger or weaker than
others, and most people will not become clinically depressed.
So, what can be done and how can we assist our children at a time when
we, ourselves, are not feeling well? It is kind of the same question
we have when we are asked to care for our children when we are sick
ourselves. It is not easy! But, the old adage of "take care of yourself before others"
is an essential concept for our times. Our chidren base their sense
of safety, security, and protection on our attitude and as parents and
adults, need to keep this in mind at all times. In other words, it is
not just what you say, but do what you do. When children see their
parents manage their own stress through self-nurturing, talking,
exercising, and self-encouragement, children take in from what they
observe and apply it to themselves. Aside from setting an
example, is also how the adult comforts their child when they are
worried about something, such as "money". My ten year old
daughter Kassidy asks me almost every day if we have enough money and
if we are going to be alright? I knew that my answers had to both
address her anxiety but also be informative. I had this great talk
with her about the economy, recession, political instability, domestic
and foreign debt, but also economic cycles and having to survive
between them. When she heard my ease in discussing these matters while
maintaining a positive attitude, she overtly calmed down and appeared
less stressed. A positive attitude is one whereby the adult conveys to
the child a sense of safety and an external sense of relief - namely,
that the adult will somehow deal effectively with the problem and come
up with a solution. This combination then allows some peace in the
mind and heart of a child and helps them develop this successful means
of dealing with hard times.
Key Points:
1. Kids are also stressed and are having to make compromises due to the economy.
2. Children will look to their parents for assurance in a hard time.
3. Parents who best manage themselves during such times give the best message to their kids.
 Dr. Keith Kanner/ Morning Show Host
Your Family Matters
XETV Bay City Television
San Diego 6 News
San Diego Living Show
8253 Ronson Road, San Diego 92111
ph (619) 261-2346/ (858) 756-3050
drkanner@sandiego6.com
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About drkanner
Dr. Kanner is a Licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychologist and Psychoanalyst with a full time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California. He is also an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego and a Clinical Instructor and Supervisor at the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. Recently, he has become the Director of Clinical Counseling for La Jolla Country Day School and has been named to the National Board of Directors for KidsKorps, USA. He continues as a Consultant for many public and private schools in San Diego and has also received distinguished teaching awards over the past seven years. He is a published author and a sought after speaker on topics pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is also presently writing a book for Fox based on his show, Your Family Matters.
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