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Background: Once again another teenager lost a life in a late night car accident. It
is not too surprising that a recent study was released indicating that
the number one cause of deaths in the teenager popular are
driving-related. These statistics pertain to both the drivers
and child- passengers in cars driven by children between the ages of 15
and 18. The numbers further suggest that the younger the driver, the
higher the danger, and once through the adolescent years, the
statistics decline and safety is greater for all parties involved.
Causes listed for the deaths included: alcohol, text messaging,
not wearing seat belts, distraction, and racing at high speeds, just to
name a few. Although the study made some very important suggestions to
parents about how to better educate their children and provide greater
safety (see Figure 1), it is also important for parents to understand
from a developmental point of view, why giving an adolescent too much
responsibility can backfire in certain circumstances. This is not to
say that some teenagers demonstrate the maturity to drive safely, but
making the assumption purely on the basis of passing a driving test
that they are mature-enough to take care of themselves and others is a
risky leap. Unfortunately, and certainly influenced by the excited
adolescent driver, is that because they passed the driving test that
they have all of a sudden become "mature and responsible".
Understandably, this may seem like music to the ears of parents, but
may not actually be the case.
Adolescents are in a stage of developmental flux until they pass
into Young Adulthood. In fact, much of the common rebellion that the
adolescent demonstrates stems from two basic sources: wishes to be
independent and different from their parents; and second, an increase
in drives such as aggression and sexuality. These two influences then
place stress on the adolescent's changing Conscience and at times
causes poor judgment and acting out. In some cases, it is worse than
in others, but all teenagers have their ups and downs. The advent of a
drivers license then becomes very exciting to them and ignites all of
these feelings and if the adolescent is not self-responsible enough, a
crisis can occur.
Therefore, aside from sitting down with your child and reviewing the
external realities of driving, as listed in Figure 1, parents also need
to make their own assessment as to whether or not their child is
mature-enough to handle driving a car. This is determined by the
parent or parents reviewing to themselves an overview about their own
child which includes:
1. are they doing well in school?
2. how is their overall sense of judgment?
3. how do they manage their stress?
4. are they using drugs and alcohol?
5. what are their friendships like?
6. how do they respond to authority?
7. are they planning ahead for their future?
8. do they see driving as a privilege?
If the answers to such questions are positive, then you
may have an adolescent who is responsible-enough to drive a car
safely. However, if the answers to these questions are negative, you
may want to work with them to attain these criteria before you let them
out on the streets. It is also important to review the suggestions
made in Figure 1 as well and consider putting together a "Driving
Contract" which includes the requirements you have determined to allow
them to use a car. These contracts are also a nice way to help the
adolescents continue to take responsibility for themselves which in the
long run will increase both their self-esteem and their own safety as
well as those of others. Another precaution would be to mandate your
child be enrolled in an extensive driver's training class before they
hit the road. No longer is driver's training a public high school
requirement as it was a decade ago. It therefore has become the role
of the parent to provide eduction and training when other resources are
not available.
Figure 1:
*Insist on wearing seat belts.
*Set rules about safe passenger behavior and discuss what can be distracting to the driver.
*Monitor children's travel: where they're going; how they're getting there and who is with them.
*Know the driver - and know that it's unsafe for children to ride with teens who have less than a year of driving experience.
*Practice ways for children to feel comfortable declining a ride.
*Prepare
children for facing a potentially risky driving situation. Create a
code word they can use to signal trouble and that you need to pick them
up.
{Source: The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia}
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Dr. Keith Kanner/ Morning Show HostYour Family Matters
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About drkanner
Dr. Kanner is a Licensed Clinical Child, Adolescent, and Adult Psychologist and Psychoanalyst with a full time private practice in Rancho Santa Fe, California. He is also an Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry in the School of Medicine at U.C. San Diego and a Clinical Instructor and Supervisor at the San Diego Psychoanalytic Society and Institute. Recently, he has become the Director of Clinical Counseling for La Jolla Country Day School and has been named to the National Board of Directors for KidsKorps, USA. He continues as a Consultant for many public and private schools in San Diego and has also received distinguished teaching awards over the past seven years. He is a published author and a sought after speaker on topics pertaining to childhood, adolescence, and parenthood. He is also presently writing a book for Fox based on his show, Your Family Matters.
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